Happy Mother's Day

Finally....I get to celebrate Mother's Day. I have to admit that before I had Mateo I really didn't care for Mother's Day. Of course I would get my Mom something special and visit with her, but I always felt a bit sad, like I was missing out on something special. I would see my family members and friends all gush about the flowers, cards, and gifts they would receive and feel a twinge of jealousy. Not because they got actual physical gifts, but because they had the one ultimate gift....a child. Last Mother's Day I took my mom out to lunch and we chatted and gossiped like we always did and I remember feeling the sadness start to creep in. One week later as I was driving to work I got sick on the way to work and at work. I remember thinking to myself, "Hmm...that's strange, maybe I have a stomach bug that's been going around?" Nope, no stomach bug...  I came home and took a pregnancy, (my period was a week late) test and find out....I was having a BABY! We told my parents a week later and my Mom was so excited! Her response was, "FINALLY, I've been waiting a long time for you to have a baby!" She told us, "You're going to have a boy." Her face lit up like a child on Christmas morning. My mom didn't take long to start buying our baby things, she bought a stroller the following week and baby blankets soon after. We found out we were indeed going to have a boy and she said, "See, I was right, you're momma is always right."

Then, the unthinkable happened....my mom died.My first thought after she passed was, "How am I going to be a Mother without her? Mother's Day has been on my mind for several months now. Half the time I've been dreading it and the other half I am excited about it. I finally get to celebrate being a Mommy, but without my Mommy. I'm slowly learning how to go on with my life without her, it's hard and I have my days. I'll never forget her and I'll never forget all that she taught me. I know she is proud of the Mom I have become and I know she is looking down from Heaven, not missing a moment that Mateo and I share.

Happy Mother's Day Mom! I love and miss you. I wish we could have celebrated this treasured day together....eating and gossiping like we always did.