Back to reality...

Just completed my second week back to work and I have to say.....it is still hard to leave Mateo. I cried on my way to work the first day back to work after maternity leave and still am finding it somewhat hard adjusting to being a working momma. Do I dare say it......I wish I could be a stay-at-home Mom....Gasp! I know....who would of thought, me at stay-at-home Mommy. If any of my friends can remember pre-baby when I stated, "I could never be a stay-at-home Mom!" I now have to say, I may have jumped the gun on that one. I now long to stay at home with my little buddy. I feel like I am missing out on one of the best times of his and my life.

Does Mateo miss me or better yet, does he even realize that I am gone? Not sure......I do know that I feel a huge void and am finding it hard to enjoy my job that I loved so much. Summer is just around the corner and Jacob and I have some numbers to crunch to even see if it is possible for me to stay home. All I know for sure right now is this, I will never get this time again with Mateo and I want to stay home with him........badly! To be continued......

Working Mom....

Mateo and I enjoying a weekday lunch with a friend of mine.

Where did the time go??? Can someone please tell me how fourteen weeks of blissful motherhood, (ok...it wasn't all blissful ...but I truly enjoyed every single moment with Mateo on my maternity leave) went by so fast?  Tomorrow I will be joining the ranks of my fellow working mamas out there. I really am looking forward to seeing my kiddos in the  classroom and  having adult conversations with my co-workers, but I have to be honest......I am devastated. I know that summer break is a mere two months away and I am lucky that I have the kind of schedule that I have, but still....I can't help feel a little sad and envious of stay-at-home mom's. Being a first time mom, I have questions like, "will Mateo miss me?", "will he think I've abandoned him?" I realize I am being a bit dramatic, but I can't help it. Being home three and a half months with this little guy I got to see many milestones that he hit. I now will miss some new milestones that he will make, but am thankful God choose me to be his Mommy. Lots of Prayer, support from Jacob and  another Mommy, who is also returning to work like me will get me through. I know I will be fine.......it will just take some time to adjust to. The say being a stay-at-home mom is tough and I agree completely,  but working moms have the hardest job...we have to leave our babies in the care of someone else, and to that..... my hat goes off to all of you.